By Ken Jorgustin
So you are completely on-board with prepping but you are frustrated because your wife is not.
If you would like to know what you can do to influence your wife towards preparedness, here’s what you need to consider:
The answer is in the following quote from Albert Einstein,
“If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.”
Before you do anything tangible, figure out WHY she’s not on-board.
When trying to get your wife into ‘preparedness’, you will need to approach the issue by asking yourself the following questions, and then after you’ve considered them carefully and honestly – formulate a plan to help influence her to get on-board.
Everyone is different, but the questions are the same, and include the following.
QUESTIONS For You To Consider About Your Wife
Are there money issues?
Nearly everyone’s budget is tight these days. If your budget is stretched too thin, could this be an issue for your wife regarding your preparedness plans?
If it is, and you believe it’s one factor in her reluctance, then think about ways to alleviate your tight budget. Some of your prepping plans or projects may be expensive while others not so much. If this is an issue, don’t start with the expensive projects (and don’t even talk about them yet).
Are there sacrifices you could make in other areas of your life (that she would also be okay with?) and/or are there ways for you to be more creative in HOW you are prepping as it relates to the money you are spending (or wish to spend)? There ARE ways to reduce the costs of being better prepared – to be frugal in your spending. You’re not going to ‘get away with’ the expensive projects until you get her on-board. Start small if you have to.
Remember that being prepared is largely about the ability to adapt with the resources you have on-hand, including your lifestyle, outlook, and risk awareness. It’s not all about the ‘stuff’.
Does she stereotype ‘preppers’?
Lots of people have warped images of what prepping is, or what preppers are, or what preppers do. This is largely to do with how the mainstream media has portrayed the ideology and lifestyle of preppers – those who are more self-sufficient, independent minded, and those who are recognizing the risks of our current ‘system’. The mainstream sadly looks upon this behavior as being ‘odd’ or even suspicious. Has she been influenced by this stereotyping? If she has, then she may be concerned what others may think about her – and maybe she doesn’t want to become outcast within her sphere of friends and family.
One solution is to assure her that you will keep a low profile about your prepping activities. Although it’s sad to say it – “Don’t go telling people” (even though you may be excited or proud about what you are doing). Some prepping actions might be mostly ‘acceptable’ and within the relative normalcy of your friends and family while other things may appear way over-the-top. These triggers are different for different people – however if this is an issue for your wife, then work with her to assure that you two won’t be labeled as such.
Does she have ‘normalcy bias”?
If you have never suffered a particular hardship, disaster or collapse, then you never will. Things are good, so they will always be good. It has always been this way, so it will continue to stay this way. This is normalcy bias. Most people have it to one extent or another. This condition makes it difficult to foresee risks and therefore nearly impossible to prepare for them.
Shedding one’s normalcy bias involves critical thinking, logic and common sense. Thinking outside the box. The realization that some ‘things’ could go wrong in an instant, while other bad ‘things’ progress more slowly and with warning (if you can see the signs). If she has normalcy bias, then maybe it will help by pointing out examples of things that could go wrong or have gone wrong in the past – and the things that you can do to prepare and to offset some of those things.
Does she recognize risks?
Sort of related to normalcy bias, the ability to recognize risks can be difficult. Some risks are clear, obvious, and within our immediate realm of our daily activities. But there are MANY risks that are hidden from our plain view, some near and some far, and some of them potentially VERY impacting. They are hidden partly because of the assumptions that we make. For example we assume that the many (major) systems that keep most of us alive will continue to function normally. We assume that those who manage and control these systems will always have our best interests in mind. We assume that our government bodies and agencies will do the right thing. We assume that there will always be a safety net. Etc.
If your wife doesn’t recognize risks (generally), then do not overwhelm her with what may seem like conspiracy theories – instead focus on the practical and more obvious risks that are closer to home. For example, concentrate on the ‘what if’ scenarios for losing a job, or a major medical issue, or a localized disaster (natural or otherwise). Etc. Start with the risks that may seem to be more likely to occur. Think about what those risks are for your lives and point them out. Start small.
Is she caught up in the system?
‘The system’ is designed to shape your lifestyle into a good tax-paying worker-bee who constantly spends (and borrows) most of their earned money back into the system. While there’s no escaping taxes, and while most of us need to ‘work’ to earn currency credits for exchange of goods and services, we do have the ability to pull back from the extreme drama of it all – and the push to compete with the Joneses. The system shapes our priorities through the mainstream, and it can be very difficult to see past it. We are ‘programmed’ from cradle to grave.
If your wife is too caught up in the system to stop and ‘smell the roses’, and/or to recognize her normalcy bias or the risks that we face, then the key will be to get her to see the system for what it is. If you ever watched the movie “The Matrix”, then you know that once you take the ‘red pill’, your eyes will be opened – while there’s no going back… But before that can happen – she has to want to make that choice – you cannot force her – to open her eyes to the big picture of ‘the system’ that is programming us all. Peeling back the onion is a process – and it WILL sting the eyes.
What are her goals (short and long term)?
Some of us have specific goals in life which we are trying to achieve. Others may not have spelled-out goals, but they have an idea or concept of where they would like to go in life or what they want to accomplish or achieve.
Do your wife’s goals interfere with your own with regards to your overall preparedness plans? Perhaps if you understand what her short and long-term goals are, then you can find a way to blend them in with your own preparedness ideals.
What are her priorities?
Even if you understand her goals, do you understand her priorities? Priorities often change (what to do first, second, next, etc.) while some of them seem to always be a priority in life.
Identify what her priorities are, and discover if you can integrate your own plans and priorities with hers. Make adjustments to your won priorities to better match hers. Make compromises when you need to.
Is she a career person?
Some people place a very high priority on their working career and their career goals – leaving little time for other things. One’s age and stage-of-life will often influence this. While a successful career will often reap greater financial rewards, it often sacrifices most of one’s time to do so. Some people are perfectly happy with this – because their career IS their life. Others try to balance this as best they can with other personal interests and goals.
If you wife is a career-minded person, then maybe there’s a way to advantage her expertise into some of your plans. Preparedness is a very wide thing and encompasses far more than having a pantry or basement full of food. It is a lifestyle – which is a little bit different for everyone and their own skills.
Are there children involved?
When there are children (of any age) involved, one’s time and resources are challenged in order to do the things that YOU want to do.
You can emphasize to your wife the various benefits of preparedness for your kids due to the fact that preparedness really is life insurance. You are better securing their future by being better prepared yourselves.
Does she think you will go ‘overboard’?
Especially when motivated, it is easy to go ‘full-in’ and perhaps appear as though you’ve gone ‘overboard’ – spending lots of time and energy on a given project or goal, etc. Does your wife think you’ve gone off your rocker?
If she’s not on-board yet, you might want to consider how you look to her. Maybe you should hold off on that BIG preparedness project and instead start with a few more reasonably small and practical projects which are hard to argue about.
Does she think you’ve been caught up in conspiracy?
Admittedly, once you’ve taken the ‘red pill’ and the deeper you dig, and the more layers you peel back from the onion, the more it will seem like conspiracy as you…Continue Reading at Modern Survival Blog: How To Get Your Wife On-board With Prepping